Red Light, Green Light
Some recent rants that I just had to get off my chest.
"TAKE THAT!"
Congratulations are in order for the City of Columbus' Municipal Transit Authority, who have succeeded in coordinating the lights downtown so that motorists will hit every freakin' red light in the 10 block span of the downtown district. Most cities time the lights downtown to change to green and avoid traffic pile ups... NOT Columbus.
Truth be told: somewhere there is a nerd laughing histerically, as he enacts his revenge for not being picked as the "traffic signal" in the "Red Light, Green Light" playground game while growing up.
"Corporate 500"
Speaking of whacky traffic regulations, who's smart idea was it for One Way streets? Their only function seemingly is to leave otherwise coherent individuals dizzy and disoriented from circling city blocks before arriving at their destination. By the time you locate what block will put you out at the correct one way street for your destination, you've completed enough laps to rival Earnhart Jr. And after you're good and dizzy, they expect you to PARALLEL PARK?!? Now you know why window offices are in such high demand; the 'skybox of the Corporate 500'.
YOU try leaving downtown at 5pm on a Friday if you don't think rubbing is racing... and you thought the weenie carts & happy hour downtown were on accident?!?
"Cattle Hurl-a-whirl"
Speaking of parking, the government takes the cake for the best scam yet:
"TAKE THAT!"
Congratulations are in order for the City of Columbus' Municipal Transit Authority, who have succeeded in coordinating the lights downtown so that motorists will hit every freakin' red light in the 10 block span of the downtown district. Most cities time the lights downtown to change to green and avoid traffic pile ups... NOT Columbus.
Truth be told: somewhere there is a nerd laughing histerically, as he enacts his revenge for not being picked as the "traffic signal" in the "Red Light, Green Light" playground game while growing up.
"Corporate 500"
Speaking of whacky traffic regulations, who's smart idea was it for One Way streets? Their only function seemingly is to leave otherwise coherent individuals dizzy and disoriented from circling city blocks before arriving at their destination. By the time you locate what block will put you out at the correct one way street for your destination, you've completed enough laps to rival Earnhart Jr. And after you're good and dizzy, they expect you to PARALLEL PARK?!? Now you know why window offices are in such high demand; the 'skybox of the Corporate 500'.
YOU try leaving downtown at 5pm on a Friday if you don't think rubbing is racing... and you thought the weenie carts & happy hour downtown were on accident?!?
"Cattle Hurl-a-whirl"
Speaking of parking, the government takes the cake for the best scam yet:
>>>2 Hour Parking at the DMV<<<
I mean, seriously, who are they trying to kid? They might as well just add $15 dollars to every service offered and save the poor Meter Maid a whole lot of writing. Better yet, is the system in place once inside: - Stand in line to take number.
- Number called: Approach desk to determine what service you need.
- Sit back down.
- Number called again: approach desk to get/give necessary paperwork.
- Sit back down.
- Number called again: Payment advice for your requested service.
- Sit back down.
- Number called again: Cashier does not accept credit/debit cards.
- Go out to car for checkbook.
- Miss number being called.
- Wait for 45 more minutes for number to be called.
- Try and approach information desk.
- Attendant did not call your number and refuses to speak to you.
- Get another number to ask if your number has been called.
- New Number called: old number was called earlier. information discarded after no show.
- REPEAT STEPS 2-9
- Number called again: Cashier requires ID for personal check. (YOU ARE REPLACING A LOST D/L!)
- RESIST URGE TO CHOKE CASHIER AND RETURN TO YOUR VEHICLE.
- Find $15 parking ticket on windshield.
- Proceed to pull out remaining hair.
This explains why driver's license pictures are always so terrible. Is that the best system the government can come up with?
(Nevermind, that was a dumb question.)
Posted by Erica Ortiz on Friday, May 27, 2005 at 12:44 PM | Permalink 
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