The Big "C"
I got one of the scariest phone calls of my life last week. It was from my doctor, who found some cancerous cells in my recent test results. Unfortunately, the nurse that called wasn't able to tell me over the phone what was wrong, but her grave urgency to get me into the doctor left me absolutely panicked. My co-worker had to drive me to the doctors office, where he finally told me what was wrong.
I typically don't talk about my personal life and health matters on here, but I think I am going to open up this time about what has been going on and what life-altering decisions will have to be made in the coming days. If for nothing else, it is helping me to talk about it now.... my friends who had no idea are being really supportive right now, and that is much needed.
Some of you may know that I was raised by my paternal grandparents. They took me when I was just a few months old, and they raised me as their own. I called them Mami & Papi, so sometimes its a bit confusing when I am talking about my Dad or my DAD. Up until about 5 years ago, I also had a relationship with the maternal side of my family. My grandparents had always taken me for visits once a year and sometimes I got to see my Mother too. But when I grew into an adult, I realized that the relationship that I sought with my Mother was very one-sided. I would try to make arrangements to go out of my way to see her, and she would never call me back. The last time that happened was when I moved to Georgia, and that was the last time I ever spoke to that side of my family again. It hurts not to have contact, but the rejection of trying to have a relationship with someone who apparently didn't want mine was just too much. I have never heard another word from them. I found my cousin a few years back, and she communicates with me, which is great, but despite that I am openly available to contact via the web, phone, etc. I haven't heard a word. I figure it is just the way it will always be.
Why is all that important right now? Well, the problem with not having a relationship with your biological mother is that you don't know your full medical history. I have known very little about my Mother's medical situation other than that she had some sort of "female problem" that somewhere I heard might have led to a historectomy in her early 20's. Mami (my grandmother) thinks she had Cervical Cancer, which is what I have been diagnosed with. I've always tried to stay up on my tests to prevent that occuring with me, and they have removed 3 trouble spots over the last few years. Genetics playing such a big role, I am very scared right now about what the specialist will say at my appointment tomorrow.
What I will find out tomorrow is life-shaking. Because I have already had 3 other incidents of trouble spots removed, it is coming to the point that they can no longer remove the cells without permanently damaging my cervix, and leaving me unable to carry a child. Further, with my persistent history and genetic predisposition, they might recommend a more drastic approach to ensure it does not develop and spread.
The doctor looked at me as he was giving me the last test results and asked me "Was my family complete?" Of course not, I have not even begun. Its something I always thought I'd eventually get to experience, after I chased my dream of racing, and then could settle down and have a family. Now, I may not get that chance. I am beyond crushed.
Please keep me in your prayers.
I typically don't talk about my personal life and health matters on here, but I think I am going to open up this time about what has been going on and what life-altering decisions will have to be made in the coming days. If for nothing else, it is helping me to talk about it now.... my friends who had no idea are being really supportive right now, and that is much needed.
Some of you may know that I was raised by my paternal grandparents. They took me when I was just a few months old, and they raised me as their own. I called them Mami & Papi, so sometimes its a bit confusing when I am talking about my Dad or my DAD. Up until about 5 years ago, I also had a relationship with the maternal side of my family. My grandparents had always taken me for visits once a year and sometimes I got to see my Mother too. But when I grew into an adult, I realized that the relationship that I sought with my Mother was very one-sided. I would try to make arrangements to go out of my way to see her, and she would never call me back. The last time that happened was when I moved to Georgia, and that was the last time I ever spoke to that side of my family again. It hurts not to have contact, but the rejection of trying to have a relationship with someone who apparently didn't want mine was just too much. I have never heard another word from them. I found my cousin a few years back, and she communicates with me, which is great, but despite that I am openly available to contact via the web, phone, etc. I haven't heard a word. I figure it is just the way it will always be.
Why is all that important right now? Well, the problem with not having a relationship with your biological mother is that you don't know your full medical history. I have known very little about my Mother's medical situation other than that she had some sort of "female problem" that somewhere I heard might have led to a historectomy in her early 20's. Mami (my grandmother) thinks she had Cervical Cancer, which is what I have been diagnosed with. I've always tried to stay up on my tests to prevent that occuring with me, and they have removed 3 trouble spots over the last few years. Genetics playing such a big role, I am very scared right now about what the specialist will say at my appointment tomorrow.
What I will find out tomorrow is life-shaking. Because I have already had 3 other incidents of trouble spots removed, it is coming to the point that they can no longer remove the cells without permanently damaging my cervix, and leaving me unable to carry a child. Further, with my persistent history and genetic predisposition, they might recommend a more drastic approach to ensure it does not develop and spread.
The doctor looked at me as he was giving me the last test results and asked me "Was my family complete?" Of course not, I have not even begun. Its something I always thought I'd eventually get to experience, after I chased my dream of racing, and then could settle down and have a family. Now, I may not get that chance. I am beyond crushed.
Please keep me in your prayers.
Posted by Erica Ortiz on Wednesday, May 28, 2008 at 9:50 AM | Permalink 
Oh darlin, you're in my prayers now and you will be in them as long as you need.
You're a strong woman and I truly believe you'll be just fine.
Posted by
merlene |
5/28/2008 10:20 AM
I am speechless. I wish I could find all the right words to say to you now. My thoughts and prayers will be with you.
You are one of the bravest women I have seen in a long time. For you to have the courage to write this post, family background and all is truly amazing! Hang in there and keep us updated on your health. We are here for you.
Posted by
Merrycricket |
5/28/2008 10:28 AM
I ended up on your blog this morning after a tweet from a friend caught my eye.
Big sigh, I wish I had some amazing words of wisdom to take away the fear and the scariness. I know what it's like to be disjointed from a parent and being clueless about medical history etc. It's not easy.
I do know though that there are a lot of people in your corner. I've never experienced a sense of community anywhere else like can be found on Twitter.
Don't hide, put it out there, we all *get by with a little help from our friends...* Ask, tell us what you need, even if it's just a hug or a warm thought--people do care, and will respond.
Hugs and positive vibes being sent your way...
Posted by
Ann |
5/28/2008 12:20 PM
Oh, honey, I am so sorry! I will definitely be praying for you.
Posted by
devilishsouthernbelle.net |
5/28/2008 1:39 PM
Nothing short of prayers heading your way, Erica. Just know we're in your corner. -- Mike
Posted by
Mike |
5/28/2008 6:40 PM
Erica,
You're in our thoughts and prayers. I know it is a crazy situation, and I could not even imagine what you're going through right now. We've been have some crazy things going on with my family as well here lately. Take care of yourself and keep your head up.
Posted by
Brian |
5/29/2008 10:48 AM
Erica, I'll keep you in my thoughts up here. Here's to hoping things start to get better for you!
You can always call if you need an ear.
Posted by
Jason Reiss |
5/29/2008 10:55 AM
My girlfriend was diagnosed with cervical cancer more than 10 years ago, she had surgery and chemo. Yes, It has changed her life but she is alive and well. hang in there this can be beat.
YB Rick
Posted by
Anonymous |
5/29/2008 11:08 AM
Jason Sharp
Erica, I am stunned. Nothing i can type can fix the situation, however if you just need a dinner date give me a call. Talking sometimes is the best cure.
God Bless
Jason
205.393.6000
Posted by
Bubba Smoothe |
5/29/2008 1:32 PM
Hi Erika, I'm Ron Martin's wife, he's the crew chief for Chris Patricks pro mod. Ron and I are into alternative healthcare. He had prostate cancer a few years ago and we tried a product called XanGo juice. That's all he did different - no chemo, no nothing, just XanGo juice - and 5 months later his cancer was gone. Check out my website www.lori-martin.com and click on the XanGo part in the middle of the page. It will give you lots of information on it. Even if you do go the chemo route it will usually lessen the side effects. Ron saw your blog and wanted you to know that there are alternatives. Call if you want to talk. We'll be praying for you. Ron & Lori Martin
Posted by
lori@lori-martin.com |
5/29/2008 7:12 PM
Your Hernon pals will keep you in our prayers.
Posted by
Curtis Partridge |
5/29/2008 10:46 PM
Erica, your in my prayers. I hope it all works out for you. I know it will somehow.
Posted by
Bradley Jones |
5/29/2008 10:57 PM
Hi Erica,
I have enjoyed your hardcore racing for many years....I make the trip over from london england to Orlando world street finals every year........you are the high light of the races for us.
I wish you all the very best u have the courage of a lion and alway beat anyhting that is put in the lane beside you.
Our thoughts are with you.
Lead foot
Posted by
lead foot |
5/30/2008 5:26 AM
Erica,
You are in my thoughts and prayers always. Everything WILL turn out okay.
Take Care,
Brenda
Posted by
Anonymous |
5/30/2008 7:52 AM
I am a cancer survivor, there are lots of us. Getting early treatment is a big plus for success and you have seen to that.
Adopted children are just as wonderful as the home grown variety so there are always options.
Best wishes
John Quinn
Posted by
BlackBelt |
5/30/2008 11:11 AM
We adopted our son almost 20 years ago when my wife couldn't have kids. The greatest thing we ever did. Life is adapting to situations.
Posted by
Anonymous |
5/30/2008 5:04 PM
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
Posted by
Anonymous |
5/30/2008 5:07 PM
Use your experiences, your growth, success, the struggles, -and inspire others, you might not know it but people might want to hear your story, maybe even submit something to some magazines, might be worth it to make your next pursuit to inspire and give hope!
Through our own speechless moments, pain and fears we can translate that into something really amazing. Stay brave and maybe you can still drive, ride for chasing the dream!
Your in my thoughts and prayers!
You already seem to be doing that!
Posted by
isobella jade |
6/04/2008 10:45 PM
Erika, I came over here after reading about you and your trials on my friend's(Bob Wilber) blog at nhra.com . Please, google up the following:
Gungi
That's all. After you read about his recovery, getting in touch with him shouldn't be a problem. He's a long-time friend and as fine a person as has ever walked the earth. He can tell you much, much more.
I will also reach out to him if you want. You can email me at admin(at)worldnewstrust.com
Posted by
T. Scheisskopf |
6/06/2008 4:58 PM
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